7 things your teen wishes you understood about school stress

Growing academic expectations, emotional changes and social pressures are all hallmarks of adolescence. Your teen may appear distant or disengaged but often that is their way of navigating stress.What teens really need for parents to do is support healthy sleep rhythms where they sleep well, not just longer and value effort and presence, not just results. Lower pressure and reduce conflict as stressful expectations harm. Engage in a warm, not anxious, manner. Treat peer pressure and bullying with seriousness. Listen first, validate, empathize, then guide.Your teen may not always say it but these truths speak volumes about their emotional landscape. Letting go of pressure and prioritising presence, understanding and mental rest can make all the difference in helping them thrive. Here are seven truths that they want you to know:

1. Sleep is essential for anxiety reduction and is not optional

Balanced sleep, not just more, is crucial for mental well-being. A study published in Sleep in 2025 found that adolescents between the ages of 12 and 15 benefit from up to two extra hours of sleep on the weekends.

Anxiety can be exacerbated by disrupting circadian rhythms and too little or too much sleep, especially more than two hours of "catch-up" sleep, can do this.

Productivity pressure exceeds lazy stereotypes

Teens are not lazy, they are overwhelmed by expectations and need relief from relentless performance demands. A joint study by Common Sense Media, Harvard and Indiana University in 2024 revealed that over half of teens feel compelled to meticulously plan their futures and excel beyond expectations.

Stress levels rise and self-care is hindered by this constant pressure, which is amplified by social media.

Screen time steals sleep and peace

Did you know that everything else suffers, including mood, motivation and focus, when screens interrupt rest? The 2025 Student Well-being Pulse Report by IC3 Institute and CISCE shows that late-night social media use causes sleep deprivation and low life satisfaction. With nearly 75% of Grade 12 students sleeping less than seven hours, the lack of career guidance intensifies stress.

Academic pressure fuels conflict and risky behaviours

Academic pressure is not just harmless, it can fracture family bonds and harm emotional health as well. A 2022 study in Frontiers in Psychology, evaluating Chinese teens, linked academic stress to increased problem behaviours via rising parent–child conflict, lower self-control and reduced emotional well-being. A chain of these factors can lead to serious problems.

Supportive parenting builds resilience, not pressure

Support that is balanced empowers rather than just loving someone who is anxious. Teens who perceive parental warmth, open communication and appropriate involvement report lower levels of anxiety and greater resilience, according to a 2025 Frontiers in Psychology study on students in Mainland China. Excessive parental stress, in contrast, fosters materialism and emotional distress.

Peer pressure, bullying and mental health are intertwined

Small taunts can carry enormous emotional weight so, parents should believe their kids when they say it is not “just school.” A survey of 95,545 students in Sichuan Province, China, conducted in 2023 found that even mild bullying significantly raises the risk of anxiety, depression, PTSD symptoms, poor sleep and internet addiction, with severe bullying significantly increasing these risks.

When you listen first, they feel understood

A listening ear offers more relief than a laundry list of fixes. According to the 2025 Student Wellbeing Pulse Report, parents should prioritise listening over giving advice. Teens feel calmer when their anxiety is validated and when hope and coping strategies outweigh immediate solutions.