Father’s Day: Arjun Rampal on raising four kids and the estranged relationship with his dad and how they became close

Arjun Rampal is a father to four children across two generations – daughters Mahikaa (23) and Myra (20) with his ex-wife, Mehr Jesia, and sons Arik (6) and Ariv (2) with his partner, Gabriella Demetriades.

As he’s enjoying fatherhood in his early 50s, Arjun reflects on how parenting, and he himself, have evolved over time. With honesty, he opens up about the lessons learned from his own childhood, the challenges of raising children in a changing world, and the deep bonds he shares with each of his kids.‘Daughters are sweet, sons are badmaash’Ask him how fatherhood felt back then, vis-à-vis 20 years later, and Arjun says, “The birth of every child felt like a miracle.

When Mahikaa was born, I didn’t know how much effort goes into being a parent. Back then, I was busy trying to provide them a good life, so I couldn’t be around as much as I would have wanted to. But when Arik was born, I really enjoyed it, and I told myself that I would spend more time with my kids and be more hands-on.

” He laughs and adds, “I think daughters are very sweet. Sons are badmaash. They have too much energy, whereas daughters are like angels.

But all of them are just nautankis. It’s fun to observe how each child is drastically different from the other.”‘Parenting has evolved over the years’Has he evolved as a father through his journey as a parent to four children? “Definitely. Your children teach you a lot. My daughters are now teaching me a lot. It’s a different generation and the world has changed so rapidly around them, and you have to grow with it — you listen more, become more sensitive, more patient.

Now they are both independent and on their path. I think parenting has evolved so much from the time my parents raised us to how we are raising our children.

Scolding and raising your voice are things that don’t work, because when you do that, they start imitating you,” Arjun says.‘I loved my dad, but unfortunately, at some point, he became addicted to alcohol’Ask him about his equation with his father while growing up, and the Rock On actor reveals. “I loved my dad, but unfortunately, at some point, he became addicted to alcohol.

My initial years with him were great, then in the middle, due to the addiction, there wasn’t any communication between us. I distanced myself, and the relationship got strained. Towards the end, in the later stage of his life, I started helping him.

I took him to rehab and got him connected back with his family. I had not spoken with him for years. We started writing letters to each other, and that’s when we revived our relationship.

But then, he got really ill, suffered a heart attack and passed away. I wish he could have spent more time with us. My dad left, then my mom passed away, and that’s when they sent me my baby boy to fill that void,” he says.‘Addiction of any kind comes from a lot of pain or trauma’Did his experiences with his father shape the way he views fatherhood? “I don’t think any parent wants to let their children down. I don’t think that was my father’s intention. Addiction of any kind comes from a lot of pain or trauma, which that person must have gone through in their past.

I wonder what it was that took him down that route. Sadly, I could never get down to the root of that. I openly talk to my kids about it, as I don’t want them to ever fall into addiction,” he shares.

‘50 is the new 30’Arjun stepped into a new phase of fatherhood in his late 40s. However, he believes age is just a number. “Ariv was born when I was 50, and 50 is the new 30 (laughs). But really, it’s just a number. What I do is take good care of my health, as I want to stay really fit and be there for them,” the actor says.‘One of the hardest things is letting go of your kids’Talking about watching his children fly the nest, Arjun says, “You can’t keep protecting them and letting go is one hard thing you have to do as a parent. When Mahikaa had to go to London to study, I couldn’t take it. I made sure all my shoots were in London so I could spend more time with her. Now Myra’s gone to study, and I’m happy to see how responsible she’s become. A lot of that credit goes to Mehr. She’s been amazing with them.

”‘Right now, the closest to me is Arik’Each child holds a unique place in his heart. He shares, “Both the girls have had a rough time because their parents are not together. In that situation, to grow so maturely and embrace my life so beautifully… I’m very fortunate to see the way they’ve embraced Gabriella, too. They’re like her best friends. Mahikaa, being the firstborn, knows there’s always that tenderness I have towards her. Myra has me wrapped around her finger.

She’ll be aloof and then come back and get everything she wants from me. Right now, the closest to me is Arik, because he’s at that stage where he is clingy and really wants to hang out with me. Ariv is a baby, and he’s really at that cute and cuddly stage.” Gabriella and he make quite a modern family. Ask if they want to take it a step ahead and tie the knot, and he smiles and replies, “Well, think there are some surprises on the way and let’s leave it at that.”