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Deek Parassini, Truth-based Global Transformational Guide and Founder of LIAP, offers a deep and insightful analysis of why parents must recognize the growing pressure on their children in time and how it can be mitigated to prevent lasting harm.
In many Indian homes, the first question parents ask their children is, “How many marks did you get?” Over time, we’ve come to treat marksheets as the ultimate report card of success.
But when we step back and observe the world around us, it’s clear that life demands far more than grades. Somewhere between exams, tuitions, and endless comparisons, childhood has been reduced to a relentless race.This pressure is taking a devastating toll. According to a recent IC3 Institute report based on National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data, student suicides in India have grown at an alarming annual rate of 4% - twice the national average.
In 2022 alone, male students accounted for 53% of total student suicides. While the number of male student suicides decreased slightly, female student suicides rose by 7% in the same year.These numbers are more than just statistics; they reflect a growing emotional crisis among young learners who feel unseen, unheard, and overwhelmed. Often, the real reason behind a suicide lies much deeper — rooted in unaddressed emotional pain, lack of support, or internal struggles that go far beyond academics. It’s time to ask a deeper question: Are we raising intelligent students, or emotionally strong human beings?The Missing Subject in Every Classroom
Children today are taught everything - science, math, and even coding - except how to handle life.
Schools grade memory, not emotional maturity. Yet, when these children grow up, life will test them not with algebra, but with heartbreak, pressure, and uncertainty. A child who cannot manage emotions may excel in exams but struggle in relationships, career, or self-belief. On the other hand, an emotionally intelligent child - one who can empathize, stay calm, and bounce back — will succeed even when marks fade.The Marksheet Trap
Parents often don’t realize that they are teaching their children to measure self-worth by numbers.
The message becomes: “If you score high, you are loved more.” This unspoken conditioning creates anxiety, comparison, and a deep fear of failure. I often tell parents - instead of asking, “How much did you score?” ask, “Did you study the full book to the best of your ability?” Getting marks depends on many variables - what if another student copied? What if they got the question paper early? What if the teacher didn’t like your child or marked unfairly? None of that defines your child’s learning, effort, or intelligence.
Marks can be influenced by luck, bias, or circumstance. But effort and sincerity are always within a child’s control. When you start valuing effort over numbers, children stop studying out of fear and start learning out of curiosity.I meet many teenagers who tell me they’re not afraid of exams -they’re afraid of disappointing their parents. That’s not education; that’s emotional exhaustion. Children must learn that success is not a report card - it’s a state of mind.
The real exam is how they respond when life goes off-plan.Parenting Beyond Marksheets
- Parenting doesn’t need perfection. It needs presence. The best lessons in emotional intelligence are taught not through lectures but through daily life.
- Listen before judging. When your child shares a failure, don’t rush to fix it. Listen first. Listening tells them their emotions matter. Celebrate effort, not outcome. When you praise hard work, children learn to love growth, not just grades.
- Let them fail safely. Don’t overprotect. Failure builds resilience when handled with support, not shame.
- Model empathy. Children learn more from what you do than what you say. The way you treat people becomes their benchmark for kindness.
The Truth Parents Must Face
Marksheets may open doors, but it’s emotional intelligence that determines how long they stay open. Grades can measure knowledge, but only emotional awareness builds wisdom. I often tell parents in my sessions: “Life Is All Positive.” Children don’t need a stress-free life; they need a truthful one.
When they learn that mistakes are lessons and emotions are guides, they stop fearing failure. The real goal of parenting is not to raise a topper - it’s to raise a human being who can handle both success and struggle with grace.
In the end, emotional intelligence is not the opposite of education. It’s the completion of it.The Choice AheadIf parents continue to raise children solely for academic marks, we risk creating a generation of anxious achievers — skilled in exams, yet lost in life. But if we teach emotional intelligence, we will raise balanced human beings who know how to live, love, and lead. The choice before every parent today is simple: keep comparing, or start connecting.One creates pressure. The other creates purpose.
By: Deek Parassini, Truth-based global transformational guide and Founder of LIAP Foundation
English (US) ·