Is it okay to date your best friend's ex?

You cannot really help who you fall in love with. It could be your maid (Sophie Baek from ‘Bridgerton’), your half-sibling (Wuthering Heights), your psychiatric patient (Suicide Squad), or perhaps your best friend's ex.

While all the others might somehow manage to navigate their complicated circumstances, the last one is far trickier.Remember how Emily (Emily in Paris) reacted when she found out Mindy was seeing her hot British ex, Alfie? After all, what happened in Rome didn’t stay in Rome! The sacred ‘girl code’ may be unspoken, but that’s legit. So, dating your BFF’s ex is riskier than you imagine. But life, as it so often does, refuses to be that simple.

Before you jump onto your girl’s ex, and convince yourself that this is different, it’s worth considering why dating your best friend’s ex often turns out to be a bad idea.

Five reasons why it’s NOT a good idea

You break the unspoken rule: Girl, you are breaking the sacred rule. You clearly didn’t get the memo, so here’s a quick reminder! You don’t date your friend’s ex. This is about acknowledging that it can create pain that is difficult to undo. Honouring the code means you value what you guys have built together - your friendship and trust.

Sisters before misters: She has held your hair back, talked you off ledges, been your 2 am friend during your worst breakups. She has pretty much raised you during your adult years! Soul sisters are hard to find. If you find one, consider yourself the luckiest. A friendship like yours is rare to find. This can turn into a ‘her’ or ‘him’ situation: Shared history means complication. Even in the best-case scenario, tension is unavoidable.

Your conversations will overlap. There will be moments; think birthdays, holidays, sundowners. You will feel pulled in two directions at once. The ‘we can be all mature about this’ may not really work. He is your best friend’s ex for a reason: Think about it. There must be a reason why your girl called it quits with him. And there is, of course, a reason why she is your friend. Your values align. But if her values didn’t align with his, is it worth dating him? Are you sure you won’t hit the same roadblock with him? You will have no shoulder to cry on: If things go south, you will have no support system left! If this relationship turns sour, your go-to person is no longer available to you.

The one who used to help get over a break-up won’t be able to do much in this case. And you can’t blame her for that.

But if you're still considering it, ask yourself these questions first

If the above reasons didn’t really bother you, and you have still decided to proceed, we get it. Love is love. No judgements here. But ensure you ask yourselves these questions to avoid some pitfalls moving forward.

What to do if you still want to proceed?

If, after carefully considering all the things, you still feel that this is something real and worth pursuing, go for it. But honesty is crucial. You have to tell your friend first.