'Maa Behen' writer Pooja Tolani rejects the 'female gaze' debate: 'Men should write women and do a bl**dy good job at it"

Netflix's 'Maa Behen' has been winning praise for its sharp humour, layered female characters and unapologetically feminist storytelling. While audiences have applauded the performances of Madhuri Dixit, Triptii Dimri and Dharna Durga, writer Pooja Tolani believes the film's biggest achievement lies in how honestly it portrays women, regardless of who writes them.Reflecting on the conversations sparked by 'Maa Behen', Tolani shared her views on the female gaze in cinema and explained why she disagrees with the notion that only women can write authentic female characters.

'Maa Behen' came from lived experiences and collaboration

Talking to Mid-Day, she admitted that writing Rekha, Jaya and Sushma was deeply personal because she could relate to the emotions her characters experienced. At the same time, she credited director Suresh Triveni for bringing his own understanding of the women in the story, proving that empathy is not limited by gender."That's a tricky question. But I feel it would depend on who the man was. I would use this phrase very differently than what it means, 'Not All Men' (laughs). Some can. I think I brought in a lot of lived-in experience. I could put myself in the position of being a Rekha or a Jaya or even a Mrs Gupta and feel how they would feel, which I feel even the most well-intentioned man couldn't catch. But that's how good collaborations work because I bring in what the other person can't and vice versa.

"She further revealed that even while writing 'Maa Behen', there were moments when Triveni noticed emotional details she had missed."I must say that I do bring a gaze, but there have been a couple of times when I haven't thought of something and Suresh has said, 'But wouldn't she be thinking this?' and I felt, 'I should have said that, but I never thought of it.'"

Pooja Tolani says men should make the effort to understand women

For Tolani, the success of 'Maa Behen' should encourage more writers to create layered women rather than reinforce stereotypes about who is allowed to write them."But that doesn't mean that only women can write women and men shouldn't be writing women because if men don't attempt to understand what women would be going through, then us making this kind of cinema is pointless."She added that dismissing a screenplay based solely on the writer's gender overlooks the effort required to build believable characters."I feel we are very quick to say that because this was written by a woman, it's good and it's not good because it's written by a man.

Everybody needs to put themselves in that place and do a little bit of thinking and hard work."Summing up her views, Tolani said, "Men should write women and do a bl**dy good job at it."

Representation should go beyond tokenism

The 'Maa Behen' writer also spoke about the difference between representation and tokenism. While she strongly supports having more women in writers' rooms, she feels the conversation should not end there.Sharing an experience from an earlier project, Tolani revealed she was once asked to join a show with four male leads because the makers wanted to change one of the characters into a woman simply to make the poster look more colourful."They said, 'There would be more colour on the poster if one of them were a woman.' I thought if that's how you are trying to sell it to me, you are barking at the wrong tree (laughs)."According to Pooja Tolani, 'Maa Behen' is proof that authentic female characters come from writers who are willing to understand their emotions deeply. While increasing women's representation behind the camera remains important, she believes great storytelling ultimately depends on empathy, observation and honest collaboration, not gender alone.