OFFSIDE | Day 11 of World Cup 2026: Lamine Yamal restores Spain's soul, Cape Verde’s fairytale run continues and Ronaldo fanboys go full toxic

There is a term in sports called commentator’s curse. No, that doesn’t refer to football fans having to listen to Bollywood actors or cricket pundits talk about football, but the notion that the moment a commentator praises a player, he starts playing badly.

Now, oned doesn't know what the opposite of that is, but yesterday Offside criticised Spain for 2,500 passes without a goal in the World Cup, likening them to the directionless Christopher Columbus, who might have been Italian but was repping Spain when he started looking for the New World and instead of India ended up in the Caribbean and still got praised for discovering America.A furious La Roja ripped apart that script as their 18-year-old talisman Lamine Yamal showed why he is considered the greatest player of this generation and several to come.

Pundit Guillem Balague called it a mix of “arrogance and confidence” and revealed that Yamal plays international football the same way he plays “five-a-side” on the streets.Wayne Rooney, who knows a thing or two about being a wunderkind, pointed out that when Messi came to Barcelona, he still had someone like Ronaldinho to look up to as the “main man”, whereas Yamal has come into Barcelona and Spain as the main man himself.

Yamal became the seventh player to score in a World Cup before turning 19, evoking memories of a young Brazilian player called Pele in the 1958 World Cup, but that wasn’t what made the world smile. Forty-one seconds into the match, he earned Johan Cruyff’s heavenly approval by pulling off a Cruyff turn, and his 10th-minute finish laid the foundation for Spain’s dominance.Meanwhile, Cape Verde continued their volcanic form, though their first goal was rather fortuitous as the Uruguay wall parted like the Red Sea to let Kevin Pina’s ball in. Perhaps it was some crazy Marcelo Bielsa tactic beyond the comprehension of mere fans. Uruguay hit back with two goals, but again we saw some collective El Loco behaviour when a bad pass saw the Uruguayan keeper sprint out into no-man’s land, allowing substitute Helio Varela to sprint, take a first touch past the keeper and shoot from outside the box, causing pandemonium among the Cape Verde players and supporters.

Bielsa fans have always argued that he has more love than results, but as things stand, this Uruguayan team has neither and will need a miracle to reach the next round. Not the Cape Verdeans, though, who have, along with Curacao, become the most loved minnow team at this World Cup.Punjabis love to say Singh is King, and there was a Singh playing for New Zealand, but it was the return of the King as Mohamed Salah and Co finally broke Egypt’s World Cup duck to give the Pharaohs their first World Cup win, shattering a 92-year drought.

Before the match, only Honduras had played more World Cup games without a win, but Egypt won’t just be happy with a win and will want to go deeper into the tournament.And finally, we saw the decline of Belgium’s Golden Generation in real time as they served up a goalless draw with the “most oppressed team” at the World Cup. Iran is playing under atrocious conditions that require them to fly back to Mexico on the same day as their match.Iran’s defiance against American hegemony has already garnered praise from across the globe, including from those deeply critical of the regime, but the team has shown a grit that has come to typify the ancient civilisation, epitomised by another moment of goalkeeping magic. When Kevin De Bruyne controlled the ball with an exquisite first touch before setting up Maxim De Cuyper, a goal seemed inevitable before Alireza Beiranvand stuck out a left hand to stop the ball from crossing the line. As the Remember the Titans slogan goes: Left side, strong side.

A look at Day 12

Day 12's matches will see the Lionel Messi show get back on track as they face the nation that exports the world’s most famous Germans: Austria. Messi’s hat-trick against Algeria, much to the chagrin of Ronaldo fans, has already become the main talking point of the World Cup, and he could go on to become the highest World Cup scorer if he scores against Austria in Dallas. Ralf Rangnick’s Austria are no pushovers.

France, another favourite, take on Iraq and looked rather menacing against Senegal after ‘dictator’ Mbappe went into World Cup mode.

After being hammered by the weapon of mass destruction and Targaryen descendant Erling Haaland, Iraq have the awkward task of facing the most dangerous attack in the World Cup in Mbappe-Dembele-Olise.Jordan face Algeria, with both hoping to keep their World Cup hopes alive, but the match of the day is Norway vs Senegal, where the Nordic side will look to prove that they have finally arrived as a footballing nation. While Haaland is already sui generis, he’s not the only generational talent, with Odegaard, Sorloth, Nusa and others.Norway coach Stale Solbakken is pouring cold water on any complacency, including a mathematical model that predicts the country has a 99% chance of qualifying for the knockout round. One hundred thousand simulations by the Norwegian Computing Centre, an independent non-profit, say Norway’s qualification is inevitable, but Solbakken is leaving nothing to chance, including ensuring their players don’t have to suffer through American fast food by shipping 500kg of seafood, 116kg of brown cheese and 6,000 oranges, which experts estimate is what Haaland consumes in one meal.

Goalkeeping Masterclasses

There has been some talk about the new ball being difficult to handle for goalkeepers, but we have also seen a World Cup where football’s most tragic figures have been inspirational. Cape Verde’s Eloy Room single-handedly kept Ecuador out with 15 saves. Curacao’s Vozinha kept the Spanish matadors at bay, and even Raul Rangel’s late double save preserved Mexico’s lead against Japan to help the co-hosts qualify. While the goalscoring in this tournament has been exquisite, so has the goalkeeping.

OFF THE FIELD: Social Media Dystopia

The age of the internet was supposed to be about enlightenment, but instead it seems to show why Scott Adams said we are a civilisation of six billion ninnies designed by a few thousand savants. Because the same species that designed the internet and pretty much everything we take for granted is also one where a player and his partner are targeted simply for stating a basic thought.

For those lucky enough to have a life where they touch grass instead of hash(tags), here’s what happened.

After the match against DR Congo, Joao Neves was asked about Ronaldo and he said: “We know what Cristiano Ronaldo has done for our national team and for the world of football. But at this moment I feel that for him, and for everyone, he’s one of us, one more guy trying to help. He’s no different to the rest of us and he will contribute like we all will.

”Instead, the quote was spliced by social media to insinuate that Ronaldo was an “ordinary” player, which is being polite based on what we saw of him in Portugal’s opening game, because Ronaldo was far below average and looked more like a sheep than the GOAT his fans profess he is.Neves’ Instagram account was soon full of hate from Ronaldo fanboys, who also attacked Neves’ partner Madelena Aragao. Some miscreants even cooked up a fake quote of Aragao saying, “tell your GOAT to retire”. Even Ronaldo’s partner, Georgina Rodriguez, fell for the quote and wrote: “Wow! Look at how the future generations are brought up!” However, Rodriguez later realised it was a fake quote and quickly took it down.The incident was reminiscent of the toxic side of fandom, which, thanks to social media, emboldened by easy AI tools, continues to besmirch the beautiful game.PS: While toxic fandom is one of the worst things about social media, one of the best things is memes. Richard Dawkins’ coinage of the cultural parallel to genes as a unit of cultural transmission is truly the finest mode of human communication. So, by popular demand, here are some of the best memes of the day.

Meme Watch

And finally, the best of them all: The VAR referee during Iran vs Belgium.

PS: Thanks to Twitter users @vish0890, @vinit_shenoy, and @n_aficionado for their submissions. If you have any memes for submission, tag @nonsensicalnemo and use the hashtag #TOIOFFSIDE.