'Y'all Can Kiss My Dallas': Erling Haaland leads Norway's viking charge through the wild West

I’ve got a big head,” the towering Erling Braut Haaland with an angelic smile announced as he wandered into a hat store in Dallas, Texas, a few hours after taking Norway past Ivory Coast to the Last 16 clash against Brazil with another predator goal.He later emerged in proper cowboy attire, complete with snakeskin boots. He also bought a tee with the slogan “Y’all Can Kiss My Dallas”. The souvenir reflected the attitude he had adopted through this incredible run to the quarters. And even through his almost 26-year-old life.

“Hee haw,” Haaland drawled, embracing the Texan stereotype with the same ease he embraces the challenge of centre-backs.Days later, New York’s neighbours and Brazil got a glimpse of his Norse legend.

Not that many of their European-based players required an introduction.As a sub-plot, you had the mini-Premiership battle between Haaland of Man City vs Gabriel of Arsenal, their heated rivalry stretching back to Haaland throwing the ball against the back of Gabriel’s head during a league meeting in Sept. (France vs Paraguay, anyone? ) Very un-Haalandlike, if you consider his friendly conversation with Vinicius Jr after the match, and in the mixed zone.

Earlier, a viral meme of the pair recreating a comic scene from ‘White Chicks’ had done the rounds, with both players responding in good humour.Against Brazil, Haaland recorded only four touches inside the box, one with deadly effect a powerful header past Gabriel. His lightning strike threading through Danilo’s legs, before Alisson could react, was taken a yard off the area. The second one, he admitted, was “almost a gift from God.”At the final whistle, Erling & friends strolled away with laughter, and engaged in the playful madness of the “Viking Row” along with fans and royalty, this time the striker controlling the beat as he always does on the pitch. The pre-tournament photoshoot beside an Oslo fjord may have invoked the goddesses Norns, who shape destiny.While fearless Cabo Verde have added sweet emotion and a fairytale element to the narrative of this 48-team World Cup, Norway is not a surprise story but a refreshing one.

As Ancelotti’s Brazil were shouldering the burden of history, blond vikingkonge Haaland was creating a new saga with a voyage into the quarters with his Nordic warriors.For the record, the Scandinavians were unbeaten against the Selecao in four previous matchups, a standout win coming in the group stage of the 1998 World Cup, the last time they had qualified.Despite all of Brazil’s missed opportunities, you must remember that there has been a gap of 24 years since Ronaldinho floated that magical free kick past David Seaman, and ‘phenom’ Ronaldo toe-poked it past Oliver Kahn for the fifth star.

Ronaldo’s iconic ‘triangle fringe’ could well have been translated to “Y’all can kiss...”, a badge now proudly worn by Haaland, who, by the way, was a 1-year-old toddler then.Since Oct 2024, Haaland has found the net 27 times in his last 14 appearances for Norway, and overall 62 goals in 54 internationals, an astonishing turnover.An entertaining storyline running parallel to the central theme is the Golden Boot race.

Haaland has clocked 7 in 4 games averaging 14 touches a goal, Messi and Mbappe touching identical numbers in 5 games. In the next game, Haaland has a one-vs-one contest with Harry Kane, bubbling under at 6. Could Messi follow? Time will tell.It all started ticking early for young Erling. Born in Leeds, where his father AlfInge was playing in July of the new Millennium, bred in agrarian Byrne, exploding in the Bundesliga for Dortmund, Haaland reached another level under Pep Guardiola in the blue half of Manchester, one of his dad’s former clubs.

His mother, Gry Marita Braut, was a champion heptathlete, a heritage Haaland acknowledges on his jersey.The genes are strong, the 6ft 5in son stronger. Now, is this because of his liking for raw milk?His personal YouTube vlog reveals a likeable character who loves his eggs sunny side up and his morning coffee laced with maple syrup, drunk from a mug titled ‘good vibes only’. And he can barbecue a mean ‘tomahawk’ steak.That might trick you into thinking he’s the boy next door. Until kick-off.The Norwegian concept of koselig is about creating togetherness, warmth and a relaxed mindset. On the football field, this band of brothers is counting on the calmest, and most menacing one to seize the moment. Just pass the ball to Haaland, and enjoy.