Parenting tips for establishing calming evening routines: Guide to better sleep for children

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Say goodbye to bedtime battles: Here's the sleep routine that works like magic (Image: TOI)

In the modern hectic world, kids are exposed to a bombardment of digital stimuli, academic pressures and organised activities that can leave their minds racing even after the sun goes down.

Screens, in particular, emit blue light that can disrupt the natural production of melatonin, the hormone responsible for regulating sleep. Without intentional wind-down time, children may struggle to relax, which can impact their sleep quality, emotional response, and overall development.A structured, calming evening routine helps to counteract this overstimulation, signalling to the body and mind that it is time to rest and restore.

Such routines create a sense of stability, security and calm amidst the chaos, helping children feel safe and ready for sleep.

Science confirms: Kids who do this before bed sleep better and feel calmer

According to a 2009 study, A nightly bedtime routine: impact on sleep in young children and maternal mood by Mindell et al, the bedtime routine results in significant reductions in problematic sleep behaviours for infants and toddlers while significant improvements were seen in latency to sleep onset and in number/duration of night waking.

The research confirmed that maternal mood state also significantly improved. The study was conducted in a randomised controlled trial that involved over 400 families with infants and toddlers (ages 7–36 months), which revealed that instituting a consistent nightly bedtime routine—regardless of exact activities—led to measurable improvements.

Children fell asleep faster, woke less often and slept more continuously.

The routine also positively affected mothers, improving their mood.This is also backed by a 2021 study, Bedtimes, bedtime routines, and children’s sleep across the first 2 years of life, which claimed that more bedtime routine consistency predicted less night-time waking and sleep problems while more bedtime adaptive activities predicted longer sleep duration and fewer sleep problems. Drawing on data from 468 children over the first two years, this longitudinal study revealed that early and consistent bedtime routines — including adaptive activities like reading and saying goodnight — not only improved sleep at the moment but also predicted healthier sleep patterns over time.

Creating simple, consistent bedtime rituals like reading, calming routines and mindful quiet does more than prepare children for bed. These practices lay a foundation for emotional regulation, cognitive growth and overall well-being.

In an interview with TOI, Dr Swapna Bondade, Consultant Psychiatrist at Apollo Clinic in Bengaluru's HSR layout, shared, "The unwinding rituals for children include establishing a consistent bedtime routine with calming activities like reading, gentle stretching, or listening to soft music. Limiting screen time before bed and creating a relaxing sleep environment (cool, dark, and quiet) are beneficial. A regular sleep wake time, even on weekends, helps in regulating the sleep cycle.

Activities should be smoothening and quiet, signalling to the child that its time to wind down. Aim for at least an hour of screen free time before sleep."

This free night routine is the real sleep miracle for kids

A recent 2025 study, Early bedtime routines and behavioral outcomes among low‑income children, the researchers revealed that consistent bedtime routines during early childhood are associated with better emotion regulation at age three, which in turn predicts fewer behaviour problems in fifth grade. Based on the analysis of a long-term cohort (Early Head Start participants), this research demonstrated that early and consistent bedtime routines nurture emotional regulation skills by age three. These early gains then translate into better behaviour and fewer behaviour problems by elementary schoolDr Bondade advised, "Ensure the bedroom is dark, quiet, and cool to promote sleep.

Ensure the bed is comfortable and inviting. Reading the books with calming themes helps. Gentle stretching or yoga helps to release physical tension. Teach your child simple breathing techniques to promote relaxation. Talking about the day: A positive and calm conversation about the day can help process emotions and reduce anxiety.

Reflecting on positive moments from the day cultivates a sense of contentment and security."Establishing these routines isn't just a short-term fix; it is a long-term investment in a child’s emotional and mental well-being. A consistent, calming evening routine teaches a child the crucial skill of self-regulation. They learn to identify when their body and mind need to slow down and have a set of tools to help them do so.In the long term, children who get adequate, restorative sleep are better equipped to handle stress, have improved emotional resilience, and show greater cognitive function.

They are less prone to anxiety and mood swings and can form stronger social connections. This foundation of good sleep health can significantly reduce their risk of developing mental health issues later in life.

Create a calm-down routine that signals "the day is ending"

Children can’t fall asleep on command. They need time to shift gears mentally and physically. A calming bedtime routine helps tell their brain: It’s time to rest now. Try a series of 3–4 quiet, repeatable activities: Brushing teeth, changing into pajamas, reading a short book, and dimming the lights. Doing these steps in the same order every night builds sleep cues into their brain.

According to Dr Bondade, the key is to adapt the routine to a child's developmental stage.

Toddlers (Ages 1-3): This age group thrives on predictability. Keep it simple and consistent. A typical routine might include a warm bath, putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, reading a short story, and singing a lullaby.
School-Going Children (Ages 4-10): Children in this age range can participate more actively in their routine. Let them choose which book to read or which pajamas to wear. A typical routine might involve putting away toys, a warm bath or shower, a half-hour of reading, and a few minutes of quiet conversation about their day. This is a great time to introduce the idea of gratitude listing a few things they are thankful for.
Pre-Teens (Ages 11-13): Suggest they listen to a calming playlist, read a chapter of their own book, or do some light stretching. The important part is to enforce a "no screens in the bedroom" rule at least 30-60 minutes before bedtime. This gives their brain the chance to power down naturally.

Her advice to parents is to start small, be patient and make this a time for connection, not a chore. The most important ritual you can share with your child is the ritual of your presence.

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