‘Sugar or screens, bans only make kids want them more’

As a busy banker, Meghna Kamdar didn’t even know how to make dal-chawal until motherhood led her to quit her job and enter the kitchen. To her surprise, she found that cooking not only helped her battle postpartum depression, but also became her calling. Today, her platform Meghna’s Food Magic has over 3.1 million followers and she has featured on Forbes India’s Top 100 Digital Stars list. The Ahmedabad-born chef spoke to Neha Bhayana about her daughter Kangna, middle-path parenting, and tips for handling fussy eaters

Being a mommy or chef — which is the tougher job?

I learnt to parent and cook at the same time so I can’t say which is tougher or easier. Cooking is as much my baby as my daughter.

Your daughter Kangna is 19 now. Did you find the toddler years more challenging or are the teen years tougher?

I think both stages have their advantages and disadvantages.

When kids are toddlers, they are a little easier to manage. You can dress them the way you like, feed them what you make and take them with you wherever you wish.

I travelled a lot with my daughter when she was a baby. But when the child enters teen years, they start using their own mind. It is very difficult to get them to agree to what you want. They have their own life choices and decisions. Fortunately, my daughter is more like a friend to me.

We shop, cook and travel together. If you share a good bond with your child, then it is nice when they grow up. You can discuss your views and thoughts with them. They give you fresh ideas too.

Is Kangna a foodie? Is she your biggest fan or biggest critic?

She is a foodie, and she enjoys desi khana as much as she enjoys pizza-pasta. I think when you introduce your child to good, home-cooked food from the beginning, they grow to love it. She had acquired a taste for dishes like pesto pasta with sauté veggies and bajra khichdi very early on, even as other kids stuck to white pasta or dal chawal.

I remember when Kangna came back from a school trip once, she was just craving khichdi and asked me to prepare it immediately.

I have always given her variety. She loves turai, tinda and karela as much as she likes Italian food.I can’t say if she is my biggest fan or critic. It depends on the day (laughs). I remember when Kangna was just five years old and had gone for a birthday party. The birthday girl’s mother served the kids pav bhaji.

Kangna did not touch it and when asked why she wasn’t eating, she said: “Aunty, my mother makes much better pav bhaji. Why don’t you learn from her?” Of course, kids do take their parents for granted sometimes… ghar ki murgi daal barabar.

They don’t always appreciate the fact that they get hot, yummy food whenever they want. They throw tantrums and want us to provide junk food. It is only when they grow and go for higher studies and start living without parents that they realise the true value of ghar ka khana.

Is your husband a hands-on dad?

Yes. In fact, I would say he is not only a father, he is also a half-mother. I have a busy schedule and have to travel a lot for work, so he is always there with our daughter. He has handled all things related to her schooling from the beginning. I have not attended a single PTA meeting.

Kids can be fussy eaters. What's your trick for getting them to eat healthy meals?

When a kid is a very fussy eater, it really helps to involve them in the making of food. You can take the child to buy veggies or groceries required for the dish, include them in the cooking process or ask them to decorate the table and garnish the dish.

They may not love the dish, but they will surely at least give it a try if they were involved in the process. This works way better than force-feeding or slipping it into their school dabba.

If you put something they don’t like in their tiffin, they are likely to skip eating and remain hungry at school.Second, you don’t need to keep the entire meal healthy. Add a little fun stuff, even if it is junk, to make it more appealing.

For example, if you want to feed your child ragi paratha, give it to them along with butter and a food brush. Ask them to spread the butter on their own. They will relish the meal and you will also feel satisfied.

Aloo parathas and khichdi used to be staple meals for kids. But these days, parents worry that their child may not be getting enough protein, vitamins or fibre if they eat these. How can we ensure the child gets all the macronutrients?

Rather than focusing only on nutrients, I think we should feed kids everything in moderation. Let them have desserts and chocolates too. It is okay. We should not keep our kids deprived of anything. In our quest to feed kids foods rich in proteins or certain vitamins, we sometimes end up missing out on a lot of good things.

Some people say don’t give kids mango or don’t give nuts. I think we should feed them everything.

A lot of moms completely eliminate sugar from their child’s diet. Is that a good idea?

I feel our body needs some sugar. Of course, we should avoid giving kids high-sugar foods late in the evening as they become hyper and have trouble falling asleep, but otherwise a little bit of sugar is fine. We can give alternatives like fruits or jaggery, but they should be used to consuming regular sugar too… white sugar is not all that bad.

Kids who are overprotected and kept away from sugar and junk food can’t cope with the food available outside when they grow up.

Were you strict about screen time when your daughter was younger?

One cannot keep kids away from the screen. People who say we should not show the screen at all or limit use to an hour daily are not being realistic. We should be practical parents. Of course, you can have a barter system. For instance, you can allow the child to use the phone for an hour or two if they agree to study for the next two hours.

If you ban screens completely, kids will want them more and more. We should stop being so hard on ourselves and our kids.

We have to evolve with the times. We, parents, have gone from placing trunk calls to using WhatsApp for instant connection. Would we want to go back to placing trunk calls? Our children are born into this tech-enabled world. We can’t force them to not use technology and follow the lifestyle we had when we were kids.

We can’t expect them to sleep by 9pm and get up at 5am. That era is over so that is not possible. We have to change with the times. I don’t believe in following modern or traditional parenting. I like to stick to the middle path.

Does your daughter want to follow in your footsteps?

My daughter is not interested in cooking, but she is highly involved in my work. She works on the production side, handling camera work. She enjoys doing this and aspires to become a filmmaker. But I do strongly feel every child should know at least basic survival cooking.

Most kids go to study in a different city or abroad. At that point, they miss ghar ka khana and struggle to prepare healthy meals.

Exam time leads to constant hunger pangs. What snacks can parents make or offer to ensure their kids don’t resort to mindless munching?

When kids are home, they are always hungry and looking for food in every corner. I think parents should feed their kids a heavy, protein-rich breakfast so they stay full for longer. I always tried to avoid serving packaged chips or chivdas. For snacks, I prefer to offer shakes like oats shake with a fruit added to it or a non-bread sandwich made with sweet potato which is quite healthy and filling. We should also add nuts and seeds in our kids’ daily diets to keep the hunger pangs at bay and ensure they are getting all the nutrients.