‘Villain baitha hai dekh’: Asha Bhosle on when she and Kishore Kumar were dismissed from a studio after recordist heard them singing; why rejection feels personal

She continued, “2-4 saal ke baad hum dono ka hi naam hua. Woh toh hero bann gaye. Doosre recording mein, humara gaana record hone wala tha Film Center mein. Aur recordist Robin Chatterjee bhi waha par aa gaye the. Toh dada ne dekha ek taraf, ‘Asha, villain baitha hai dekh’. Toh unhone kaha, ‘Main jaa ke usko nikaal dunga. Yeh agar recordist hoga toh main gaana nahi gaunga.’ Maine kaha dada aisa nahi karte, kisi ke pet par pair nahi dete.”

Facing rejection, especially in the formative years, can profoundly impact confidence and self-worth. While some people use it as motivation to improve, others struggle with self-doubt. 

What makes rejection so emotionally powerful?

Gurleen Baruah, an existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “Everyone gets rejected from one thing or another in their lifetime. It feels personal because, many times, we think rejection means I am not good enough, not smart enough, not worthy enough. We tie rejection to our identity as if our whole existence is summed up as a ‘loser.’”

She continues, “Psychologically, when someone is dismissed or overlooked repeatedly, they may internalise it. Instead of seeing rejection as situational (this wasn’t the right fit, or this wasn’t about me), they start believing it reflects their worth. Over time, this can lead to low self-worth and self-esteem. The brain treats rejection similarly to physical pain — there’s an actual overlap in how social exclusion activates pain centers. It’s why rejection stings so deeply.”

How can people build resilience and stay motivated after facing rejection in their careers or personal lives?

Baruah suggests, “First, just acknowledge that it hurts. Rejection stings — there’s no way around it. Feeling disappointed, frustrated, or even question things for a bit is okay. Instead of pushing those feelings away, sit with them. Let yourself process it.”

Once it feels a little less raw, try looking at what’s ahead, the expert notes. “Is there something to take from this experience? Sometimes, in the middle of rejection, all we hear is the ‘no,’ but if we step back, there might be feedback or a shift in direction that helps in the long run. Not every rejection has a deep lesson, but some do.”

“And when you’re ready, think about what’s next. What small step can you take? Maybe it’s refining your approach, tweaking your strategy, or just reminding yourself that this moment doesn’t define you. Resilience isn’t about never feeling hurt — it’s about feeling it, letting it pass, and then figuring out how to move forward in a way that works for you,” concludes Baruah.