Why the preschool years feel so demanding

Sneha Paliwal Tiwari (Highstreetmommy)As a mother, I've realised that the preschool years are not demanding because our children are "difficult." Theyare demanding because we are needed in every possible way, all the timе.My 4-year-old, Hridan, is in that beautiful yet overwhelming phase where he wants independence but still needs me for everything. From the moment he opens his eyes, I am his safe place, his problem solver, his emotional regulator. He wants to choose his clothes, pour his own milk, and decide the plan for the day-but the second something doesn't go as expected, his big feelings come rushing out. And when they do, I'm the one holding space for them.Some days it feels like I am constantly negotiating-five more minutes of play, one more story, one more hug, one more explanation for why. Preschoolers are curious, impulsive, and emotional, and as a mother, I carry the responsibility of guiding them gently without dimming their spirit.That balance alone is exhausting.What makes this phase especially demanding is the lack of pause. Hridan doesn't just need supervision; he needsconnection. He needs my presence-not in the background, but fully available.

Even when I'm tired, even when my mind is full, even when I crave a moment of silence.When I look at my 9-year-old, Diyara, I see how far we've come. She's more independent now. She understandsemotions better, can communicate her needs, and doesn't require me every second. The demands of motherhoodhaven't disappeared, but they've softened.There's space to breathe, to think, to steр back slightly. And that contrast reminds me why the preschool years felt so intense. These years are demanding because they stretch a mother in invisible ways. We are shaping habits, values, emotional security, and self-belief-all while running households, managing routines, and often putting ourselves last. There's no applause for staying patient during tantrums or showing up with calm when we feeldepleted.If you're in the preschool phase and feeling overwhelmed, know this: it's not weakness, and it's not failure. It's motherhood at its most raw and consuming. These years ask for everything we have because ourchildren are building the foundation of who they will become.And one day, just like I see with Diyara now, the intensity will ease. Until then, we hold on, we show up, and we remind ourselvesthis is hard because it matters.