Parenting coach’s advice for parents on trying reverse psychology on kids: “Build cooperation not compliance through tricks”

Parenting coach and Montessori expert Ankita B Chandak, shares why reverse psychology tricks doesn’t work with kids after a certain age. Taking to social media, she shared examples on how to smartly build that trust when reverse psychology doesn’t work.She shared, “So your reverse psychology tricks stopped working. Your child looks at you thinking, mom you really think I'm gonna believe it? Because now they can read your hidden agenda. Little children can't detect manipulation, you know they trust you completely. Their brains aren't wired for it but by the age of 8 they develop theory of mind. They know when you're playing games and they feel disrespected if you keep using reverse psychology.

They'll start manipulating you back and your trust will be completely broken.”She shared in a video, “The parenting trick that stops working at age 8 and why your child will never trust you again if you keep doing it. In toddler years you tell your child don't brush your teeth, your child runs to brush. You think you're a genius parent and then couple of years later they turn 8 and you're trying the same reverse psychology trick and it's failing.

Build cooperation not compliance through tricks.”

She further added, “Tell your child honestly I need your help. Here’s what’s happening: around age 8, children develop something called “theory of mind” - basically they can read your hidden agenda. When you say “don’t clean your room” they KNOW you actually want them to clean it. They feel a little insulted that you think they’re still falling for it.”

Ankita shared steps to take:

Try straight talk: “Your room needs to be clean before your friend comes over. What’s your plan?”Ask for their input: “Bedtime is in 30 minutes. How do you want to spend that time?”Give them choices: “Would you like to do homework now or after dinner?”Make them your partner: “I need your help figuring out how to make mornings run smoother. What ideas do you have?”

On why this works better according to her:

Respects their intelligenceBuilds problem-solving skillsCreates cooperation instead of complianceActually gets things done fasterStrengthens your relationshipShe ended saying, “When you stop trying to outsmart them, they stop trying to outsmart you back. Everybody wins!”