5 ways to break up without hurting your partner

Breakups are never easy, no matter how long you have been together, or how ‘experienced’ you are in the process. It is tough to look someone in the eye and tell them you’re just not in love anymore.

And there is no such thing as a painless breakup. You both have invested in this relationship, so it is going to be painful. But sometimes, as you grow and evolve, your relationship follows. So, if you’ve really decided to part ways with your partner, do your best to reduce the intensity of that pain. After all, this was the person whom you used to love with your whole heart! Here are some tips on how to break up with someone in the nicest way possible.

Be direct

Clarity is crucial when you are ending your relationship. While it is important to be gentle, it is also pivotal that you are clear and direct about what you want. Tell them what you feel, and why this relationship has hit rock bottom. Remember, clarity comes first. In the process of trying to explain what’s not working, do not end up giving hope to the other person. They shouldn’t feel there is space for correction, because you are here to break up, not rework.

Be kind to yourself and the other person

Kindness and compassion go a long way. Yes, you have indeed decided to choose a different path from your partner, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you stop caring about them. Your soon-to-be ex is a person. Say it again. A person. Someone with emotions, and would be hurt by your decision. So convey it with kindness. For instance, you can say, “Our time together has been really special to me, but I need to focus on myself right now.

You deserve someone who’s all in, and I don’t think I can be that person at the moment.”

Choose the right time and place

You don’t want to break up when your partner is going through something worse in their life. That doesn’t mean you have to wait forever. But be sensitive about when you are breaking the news. Also, pick the right place. Quick tip, don’t take her/him/them to the place you proposed. You don’t want the best parts of your relationship to turn into a nightmare, even though it ended.

That’s cruel. So be conscious when and where you go.

No clichés please

You have decided to end this relationship. So, don’t go into the whole ‘it's not you, it's me’ drama. It will only add injury to insult. You are here to break up, without hurting the other person, but do not sugarcoat it. Don’t blame yourselves. Tell them why this relationship isn’t working and state that you plan to move on.

Do not make false promises

No, don’t do that. Don’t make promises that you cannot keep. Steer clear of false promises. In an attempt to end things on a positive note, most people make promises that they cannot fulfill. This is absolutely hurtful for both parties. You will be on a guilt trip because you know you didn’t mean it, and the other person will be counting on you. Don’t say things like ‘I’ll be around’ or ‘we’ll still be friends' if you don't mean it.