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Sanya Malhotra on her mother's efforts going unappreciated (Source: Instagram/Sanya Malhotra)
Sanya Malhotra recently opened up about how her mother’s relentless dedication to the family often went unappreciated. She recalled how, despite health issues, her mother would wake up early every morning to cook for everyone, ensuring that her father and children were taken care of.
“Mumma used to get up very early in the morning to cook. She has health issues also. She used to ignore all of that to feed us, feed papa, cook his lunch, breakfast. I sort of realised that when I was in 9th and 10th standard. So, I used to wake up in the morning and not wake her up. But I used to not like the fact that she has to wake up, kabhi kabar toh bukhaar mein bhi (even when she had fever), and papa didn’t appreciate it much,” she told Girls Buzz.
She continued, “Pata hai kab call aata tha papa ka? Jis dinn namak kam ho ya kuch mumma bhool gayi ho, tab papa mummy ko lunch mein call karte the ki ‘aaj tum yeh bhool gayi’ ya ‘aaj namak thik nahi tha’ (Do you know when dad used to call? On the days when the salt was less or mom forgot something. That’s when dad would call mom during lunch to say, ‘Today, you forgot this’ or ‘The salt wasn’t right today.’). And the fact that she was okay with it… I used to get angry about it and would argue with my father, but my mother took it lightly. She was like, ‘Look, your father is calling today, the salt in the food must be less’.”
Her words reflect the experiences of countless women whose unpaid labour at home is often overlooked.
Why domestic labour is undervalued
Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “Conditioning plays a crucial role in this devaluation. From childhood, individuals internalise gender roles that position men as providers and women as caretakers. In patriarchal societies, unpaid domestic labour is seen as women’s responsibility rather than a shared duty.”
The role of gender disparity is evident in how labour is assigned within families, she adds. Cooking, cleaning, childcare are automatically delighted to women, while men’s contribution to the household, even minimal, is praised.
Psychological and emotional effects on women who feel unappreciated
A lack of appreciation for caregiving leads to emotional burnout, resentment, and diminished self-worth, putting women at high risk of anxiety and depression. Unacknowledged labour can cause chronic stress, fatigue, and weakened immunity, while constant giving without recognition breeds frustration and relationship dissatisfaction. Many women suppress these feelings, believing self-sacrifice is a virtue, reinforcing the cycle of emotional labour. Over time, this can lead to maternal exhaustion syndrome, impacting mental health. A societal shift is crucial to acknowledging and sharing caregiving responsibilities, fostering a more balanced and respectful home environment.
Creating a culture where the emotional and physical labour of mothers is acknowledged
Khangarot believes that creating a culture of recognition and shared responsibility starts with changing the narrative at home. “A simple yet effective approach is verbal acknowledgment- expressing gratitude for everyday tasks rather than taking them for granted. Studies such as that by Emmons & McCullough, 2003 show that even small gestures of appreciation can increase emotional well-being and reduce stress.”
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Redistribution of labour equitably within the family is another crucial step. “Children and spouses can actively participate in household tasks rather than expecting mothers to manage everything. Teaching boys from an early age to contribute to domestic work can challenge the generational cycle of gendered labour division,” notes the psychotherapist.
English (US) ·